32.0 Winter Scenes of Chili

Starring Erin & Mike and Adam & Josh
Filmed on Location in Beautiful Downtown Sellwood
Soundtrack: Blues and Boogie Shoes by Keene Brothers

"Hey, lost and hungry hustled souls"

2009 closed like a swollen eye. Like my eye. Swollen from sickness and a perhaps existential irritation. Dark days, mon frères et soeurs, but indeed the dark is moot without the light. And so 2010 burst like a lightning violet into this history! The fever was gone; the clouds, while still here (where would they go this time of year?), held silver thicker than their linings.

“Swollen” is not a great word to pepper into an article food. Also, I’m not sure you’re using that French correctly.

Yeah, I don’t speak it. Plus I write a cooking column and have precious little knowledge of the culinary arts, as well. So, obviously, ignorance is no barrier for me. I take you now to the scene of the first ITSK of the year.

To begin with, Adam is happy. He is able to use his pink cast-iron pot. It’s visually stunning and just a hint of the brilliant hues of this delicious winter meal. Only it’s not really a winter meal – it’s a meal for all seasons! (I picture diners lined up around the block, chanting “We want Thomas More!”).

Really, a Robert Bolt reference?

Ah, the voice of reason!

Tis the season for the reason!

Buzz off, will ya? This is taking too much of a yule tone. As I was saying, a sprinkle of all the seasons spices this meal.

Which is?

Chili, I guess. Though it’s more like a stew. Maybe even a soup? You could call it…

Oh, here we go…

… a “chewp”! Sort of like when TV Guide can’t decide the tone of a program and calls it a “docudrama” or “dramedy”. This is sort of an edible docudramedy.

So Erin and I are over at Adam & Josh’s, the Sellwood Kitchen Satellite Diner. The cats are outside, the dogs are in the way and I am in the low red mock crushed velvet chair, doing my part – staying out of the kitchen, documenting the proceedings. A&J’s kitchen draws its inspiration (and indeed many of its artifacts) from the 1950s (the Tupperware/Kitchen of the Future/Atomic Palate age). If I ever fell asleep in their kitchen…

Fell asleep from wine.

Fine. But if I did, I’m certain I’d dream of Play-Doh and Colorforms and the candy case at Farrell’s. Now add to this the luminous colors of butternut squash (Erin’s chopping up 2 lbs of it), bell peppers, onions, even a jalapeno! The house smelled so comfortable (yes, it can) that I dozed off in mine comfy chair. Then six cloves of garlic, like a snap of smelling salts, slapped me from sleep. Josh’d begun the batter for the corn muffins. “I’m supposed to beat these until frothy,” he says. For some reason, we all laughed.

I wondered, “Is one nurtured on corn bread “corn-bred”?

You must’ve been born in a corn maze.

Why do you…? Oh, very funny. While the chili…

Chewp.

… cooked in Big Pink, the muffins rose in the oven. We adjourned to the den to watch some “Harry Potter” DVD special features (this is not exactly the Algonquin Round Table).

Ding!

We’re at the dining room table, chili ladled into bowls, muffins split and buttered.

“This is a colorful meal,” says Adam.

“I don’t see color, so… it looks like a pot of gray,” announces Erin.

Four slurps. A pause… Another triumph! Hearty, fresh! But not heavy. Warming without sweating. We’re all satisfied with this first ITSK meal of the year.

Wait, why do you call it “4 Seasons”?

I can’t remember exactly. At the time, we were certain there was something seasonally encompassing about the meal. Try it. You’ll know what we mean. Make it for a loved one on Valentine’s Day. It’ll warn your heart and sweep away those gloomy winter blues!

Erin’s Intro: It’s vegetarian (have we ever done that before?), it’s gluten free, it’s filling, healthy and pretty to look at. Add a mouthful of excellent pumpkin cornbread muffins, and follow up with a nice long nap. It’s the perfect winter meal! Thanks for saving the column this month, Adam! Here’s to you, friendship, and totally inappropriate dinner conversation.

4 SEASONS BUTTERNUT CHILI (Chewp!)

Extra virgin olive oil
5 cloves garlic
1 tsp cumin, chili powder, and ginger
Salt and pepper
1 sweet onion, chopped
1 cup chopped celery
1 red pepper, chopped
1 jalapeno
1 green pepper, chopped
2 cups butternut squash, diced
3 cups V8
1 cup broth or water
1 can black beans, drained and rinsed
1 can kidney beans, drained and rinsed
1 can diced tomatoes
1 Tbs honey
Fresh lime and cilantro

In a large heavy pot on medium heat, add extra virgin olive oil, garlic, onion, seasonings, celery and peppers. Cook about two minutes. Next add the beans, tomatoes, butternut squash, honey, V8 and broth or water. Cover and simmer. Let cook for about one hour, stirring occasionally, and adding more broth or water if desired. Before serving, squeeze in ½ fresh lime juice. Serve topped with sour cream or cheese (or both) and fresh lime.

The “In the Sellwood Kitchen” cast and crew can be contacted at: erinandmike@sellwoodkitchen.com

31.0 The Other White Christmas

Starring Erin & Mike and Adam & Josh
Filmed on Location in Beautiful Downtown Sellwood
Soundtrack: “Hanover Winter Song” by Fred Waring & His Pennsylvanians

“For the wolf-wind is wailing at the doorways”

It’s cold tonight, but not as cold as it’s going to be. Give when you can to the hungry and poor (though, jeez, aren’t we all a bit needy these days). Often Erin and I will look around our apartment, and though it’s no penthouse, we are relatively, in this day and age, well-enough off: roof over our heads, TV, computer, subscription to Netflix… When I complain, it’s briefly, and followed immediately by guilt, and then gratitude.

It’s Christmastime (and the holidays for other faiths and non-faiths as well). But it’s a bit like Whoville this year (though try finding a box of Who-pudding – is it an east coast food, like Sunny Doodles?). What I mean is the obvious – the continuing effects of the recession. I saw three signs that tell me the “Holiday Spirit” has his work cut out for him this year:

The gruel appears to be thinner and perhaps even sourer than Magoo’s.

I saw a sidewalk Santa whose beard was attached with scotch tape. Sadly, it was his own beard.

We’ll only have 10 Days of Christmas this season. The lords a ‘leaping were laid-off, and four calling birds called in sick with, surprisingly, the flu.

But not unlike those Vicar of Winkfield pear-shaped citizens of Whoville, we don’t need “things” to enjoy the magic of this season. We don’t need “stuff” or “junk” to bring us joy. And really, don’t most of us have enough things and stuff and junk already? I mean, really, a portable phone?

The only “stuff” we really need is food, uh, stuff. Luckily, we have food. And Erin and I would like to share it with you. Not the food, per se, but the secret (well, it’s a secret to me) to making the food. Let the Christmas magic begin!

Returning to the Sellwood Kitchen after… Good King Wenceslas, it’s been six months! It’s Adam & Josh (which means we’ve consumed a lot of gluten since then). But now, a delicious gluten-free recipe! I’m almost certain it’s Santa-approved (and judging by the sprawl of his bowlful, a dumpster sundae could find a place on his menu board).

So today’s meal is a dumpster sundae (nah, nah) – it’s Sweet & Sour Pork. With broccoli and steamed rice! Sure, it’s a bit more expensive than tacos, but it’s no filet mignon (who’s eating that anyway these days?). Still, this meal fed four of us and I had leftovers the next day.

And how was it? Hark, the hungry angels (yeah, right) sing:

Erin: It’s so tender it cuts with a fork.

Adam: It’s senior-friendly. (Erin cocks her head toward me. The Boys laugh.)

Mike: What? What’d I miss?

Adam: You – you’re the senior. (Mike groans.)

It’s good to be together, to show our Christmas decorations: The ceramic Mr. & Mrs. Santa Claus (the former a twenty-nine year old prize, the latter painted by my mother) in front of the fireplace; the talking leg lamp crate ornament; the ruby-beaded figurine we call Eva Gabor; the framed Christmas albums on the wall.

Earlier we’d visited Adam & Josh’s to view their holiday home (please silently preface each item with the word “antique”): Christmas sheet music; the “Glolite Happi-Santa” (so creepy from a certain angle I suspect heathens were behind its production); baubles & bulbs & books by the sash / they even displayed the last can of Who-hash!

Anyway, may your days be merry & bright and may we bring that same light into the lives of those around us! Merry Christmas from Erin & Mike and the whole gang at the Sellwood Kitchen!

SWEET & SOUR PORK ON RICE

1 Boneless pork loin
Salt, pepper, rosemary, thyme, ginger
1 small onion, chopped
½ Cup white wine

The Pork: Heat a skillet on medium high. Season the Pork loin on both sides with salt, pepper, rosemary, thyme and a dash of ginger. Sear the pork loin for about two minutes on each side, until just it starts to brown. Place browned pork loin in baking dish surrounded by chopped onion, with wine, and into 350 degree oven. Cook until internal temperature reaches 165 degrees. Let sit for about five minutes before cutting.

Sauce: (double or triple this recipe, it only makes about one cup)
¼ Cup brown sugar
1 tsp Soy Sauce
1/3 Cup Tbsp Rice Wine Vinegar
1 Tbsp Ketchup
2 tsp Corn starch dissolve in 4 Tbsp water

Mix all ingredients except corn starch mixture into sauce pan on medium heat. Bring to a simmer, add corn starch mixture and stir until thickened.

Slice pork and serve over rice with sweet and sour sauce.

The “In the Sellwood Kitchen” cast and crew can be contacted at: erinandmike@sellwoodkitchen.com

30.0 A Little Thanksgiving

Starring Erin, Mike and Sarah
Filmed on Location in Beautiful Downtown Sellwood
Soundtrack: Poems, Prayer & Promises by John Denver

“How long it’s been since yesterday and what about tomorrow?”

Erin’s intro: If I had to pick my favorite thing about Thanksgiving Dinner, I'd pick the leftover mini-sandwiches on rolls. We always use Rhodes rolls, they're in the frozen section, and I think they make the sandwich amazing. Actually I prefer these sandwiches to the Thanksgiving meal its self. Maybe it's just the nostalgia.

Everyone has their own Thanksgiving traditions – this only occurred to me as I got older, of course. We used to have a Turkey Bowl in the pasture. Football, with a break to listen to “Alice's Restaurant” at noon, followed by more football, followed by more food than humans should ever consume in one sitting. Afterwards, we’d lie on the floor in front of the fire, watching movies, until (finally) late night mini leftover sandwiches! Ah, tradition!

Of course things change. We haven't had a Turkey Bowl in a long time. I'm hosting this year for the first time, so Thanksgiving will evolve. We'll start our own traditions like families do. But I will make sure of two things: Always listen to “Alice's Restaurant”, and always save room for the mini sandwiches.

On Sunday, November 8 at 1:58pm, I put on my pajamas (well, my pajama bottoms and a Uniglo Jean-Michel Basquiat Bear t-shirt). My outside errands for the day were done. It was now time to prepare for our Pre-Thanksgiving Pretend After-Thanksgiving Leftover Meal!

Having already donned said sleepwear, I was ahead of the game. When I was younger, the Thanksgiving television viewing tradition, besides watching the Dallas Cowboys play, was the triumvirate of Giant Ape movies: King Kong, Son of Kong and Mighty Joe Young. WOR Chanel 9 showed them every year on Long Island (along with a slew of Christmas commercials).

Later in the afternoon (late afternoon, or maybe early evening, or maybe it wasn’t even Thanksgiving Day at all), we’d tune in to WPIX (that’s Ch. 11 to you old New Yorkers) to watch Laurel & Hardy in “March of the Wooden Soldiers”, which I think was officially titled “Babes in Toyland” but syndication had its way with it, and they might’ve been right, since dopey kids my age were more likely to watch a movie about wooden soldiers than babes (boy, we’re we dumb!). Can you imagine? There used to be a time when 12-year olds watched forty-year old black & white films.

Recently, Thanksgiving, as glorious as that day is, has become the “Christmas Eve” of our harvest holiday. The Day after Thanksgiving is the big day now (although, by “big”, we mean small and quiet and comfy. And our NEW television tradition entails the viewing of the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy. Erin made the startling statement that watching LOTR on a rainy day with smells of warm Thanksgiving leftovers in the air is just a notch less wondrous to her than being in Disneyland. A powerful declaration!

SETTING: The pretend morning after fake Thanksgiving. Rainy. Cold. The office is closed (in this fantasy, as opposed to “real life” where I have to “go in for a few hours”).

“That was some parade yesterday, huh? Remember when the girl from that show sang that song the kids dance to?” I mused. Despite eating everything yesterday, I’m hungry again. Is it time for lunch?

“Is it time for lunch?”

“You’re 40 years old – lunch is whenever you want it,” says Erin.

Yes, but what I meant was: is lunch being made for me? Erin knew what I meant. Presently, she and Sarah were redesigning Thanksgiving’s leftovers into phenomenally ambrosial (hence, edible) architecture.

“What are you writing about, the sandwiches?” asks Erin.

“Not yet. I haven’t written enough words about old holiday specials they’ve stopped broadcasting. “

“What’s that one with the weird Mickey Mouse?”

Surely, Erin is referring to “March of the Wooden Soldiers!” Said character resembled Disney’s ambassador. You know, it was a capuchin monkey in a costume! Monkey Mouse. But don’t ever watch the colorized version. It’s dumb. Everything colorized is dumb.

Type, type, type. Sniff, sniff. “Let’s hunt some orc!” the television calls. New traditions are forming – this is the soft thrill, the ironic promise of nostalgia: in this obsession with the past, there is the antidote of renewal. Life constantly, insistently, spools out a fresh past, the best moments of which keep us tethered to the present, and by extension, the future.

“What are you gals working on in there?” The smells were, if this is at all possible (and if it is, the pews in my new church will be hewn from self-rising rolls), even more pleasurable than their virginal releases of yesterday.

“THE BEST MEAL EVER!” they shout back.

Agreed.

Happy Thanksgiving Etcetera from the Sellwood Kitchen!

Thanksgiving Leftover Minis

Shepherd's Pie-Inspired Casserole Ingredients:(From Leftovers)

Green Bean Casserole

Carrots, Onions, Celery from stuffing if you had extra (diced)

Gravy

Turkey , diced

Stuffing

Mashed Potatoes

Sautéed Mushrooms

This can be assembled in individual ramekins, if you have them, or one large casserole dish if you don't. In the dish, place a layer of green bean casserole with sautéed mushrooms. Add a small amount of carrots, onions and celery if you have it. Then add a layer of diced turkey. Ladle a few spoonfuls of gravy over the ingredients. Next, press a layer of leftover stuffing over the top of the veggies and turkey. If you don't have leftover stuffing, whip up a box of stovetop, you won't be sorry. Finally, cover the casserole with a layer of mashed potatoes, like a shepherd's pie. Refrigerate. When ready to serve, place the mini casseroles on a baking dish in the oven at 350 degrees for about a half hour, or until hot through. Serve with Mini Sandwiches and the cutest mini apple pie in the world, or just pie.

Mini Sandwiches

Do whatever you want! Mine always include mayo, cranberry sauce, turkey, maybe stuffing, on a dinner roll. Yum!

The “In the Sellwood Kitchen” cast and crew can be contacted at: erinandmike@sellwoodkitchen.com